Maggie O’Farrell
In I am, I am, I am: Seventeen Brushes with Death, Maggie O’Farrell chronicles seventeen, self-contained episodes in which she comes close to death. Each chapter heading specifies the body part that was in the most danger. Although not chronologically sequenced, the chapters span O’Farrell’s life as a child, a teenager, an adult, a wife, and a mother.
O’Farrell’s brushes with death vary in intensity. Some are more harrowing than others. These include childhood encephalitis and its lingering effects, near fatal bouts with amoebic dysentery, an almost fatal hemorrhage during childbirth, as a passenger on an airplane that temporarily plummets out of control, a narrow escape from a rapist/murderer, a potential drowning, and a mugging by a machete-wielding thief. The final chapter describes her constant vigilance and the treatment required to keep alive her daughter who suffers from life-threateningly severe immunological and dermatological disorders.
In spite of her multiple brushes with death, O’Farrell does not wallow in self-pity. But the experiences impact her by altering her perceptions permanently. She concedes that near death experiences make one wiser and sadder and more fully cognizant of the thin membrane that separates life from death.
O’Farrell communicates the intensity and fear of each experience in detailed, evocative diction. Her fear and anxiety are palpable. This is particularly evident in the final chapter in which she describes her daughter’s condition in detail and the many precautions she undertakes as a mother to preserve her daughter’s life. In minute detail, she lists the otherwise mundane things that can trigger a potentially life-threatening attack. She conveys the tension simmering underneath as she smiles at her daughter’s care-givers and explains her condition. She expresses her gratitude to friends and family who include her daughter in their invitations and sweep clean their homes of anything that might trigger an attack. She hides her frustration and anger at the insensitivity of others.
What emerges from this unconventional memoir is Maggie O’Farrell’s resilience and ability to pick herself up and forge ahead. Her diction is compelling and visceral. The physical and mental impact of what might have happened is given equal weight as to what actually does happen. She articulates the impact of these brushes with death with eloquence, clarity, and dignity. Although her experiences are unique, O’Farrell’s gripping vignettes remind us that life-threatening incidents—some of which may be self-induced while others are a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time—can materialize in a split second and alter the trajectory of lives forever.
A compelling and thoughtful memoir. Highly recommended.